POST NO. 4 HOT AUNTY
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What an opportunity. I’d wanted a place of my own for years; good location with nearby parking and significant footfall. I had all the ideas. I had experience in lots of shops. I just wanted a place to begin my dream.
But THIS wasn’t MY dream! Auntie had left her shop to me. I don’t know why. It wasn’t the sort of shop for me. My business plan was a top-end interior decoration shop, offering the best of international style, furnishings, liaison with other ‘top’ bath and kitchen suppliers. A complete service from carpets to curtains, floor to ceiling.
Not this – not a clothes shop. Selling dresses to women. Daft. The whole idea was stupid. But tempting maybe. An existing clientbase with, apparently, enormous goodwill at a fantastic location.
Time to assess, investigate, learn. Why throw away something that’s up and running because I wanted something of my own? I’d seen so many try and fail. This was a runner – and it was making a good profit.
So, to Craydon. The site was even better than I’d been told. The place was busy and buzzing. I wandered in to suss out the staff and ambience.
I’d been in there just a few minutes when one of them came up and asked ‘Do you need help? Are you looking for something special for yourself?”
What did she mean? ‘Something for myself’. I’m six foot 3; an ex-rugby player in my mid-thirties. I went all aggressive “I think not. ‘something for myself?! ….. In a woman’s dress shop!’. Do you say that to any man who comes in here. What if you said that to a man with his wife nearby.”
The lass, Betriz, all of mid-twenties, responded vigorously. “That’d be silly. No – I don’t say that to any typical man – but you were looking at the clothes differently than the typical accompanying husband. I’m sorry if I made a mistake.”
“A mistake, yes. But I was looking differently because I’m the new owner.
Although there are many theories about what causes fetishism, there is little factual causal evidence.
Fetishism generally begins in childhood or adolescence and is usually found in males.Once established, fetishism tends to be life-long unless treated.
There are many theories about the psychological how, when and why of fetishism, but few facts.
Many fetishists state that they have had fetishistic desires as long as they can remember. Some fetishists can trace back their desire to a specific event. Modern psychology assumes that fetishism either is being conditioned or imprinted or the result of a traumatic experience. But also physical factors like brain construction and heredity are considered possible explanations.
Fetishism (or a specific fetish) is one of the behaviors in a group of sexual problems called paraphilias where paraphilias are strong reoccurring sexual urges and fantasies typically involving nonhuman objects or involving the suffering or humiliation of yourself or another person.
Paraphilias and Fetishism
The American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the prevailing resource for diagnostic criteria of paraphilias, describes the essential feature of paraphilias as recurrent, intense, sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies generally involving nonhuman objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or partner, or children or other non consenting persons.
The DSM-IV-TR lists the following diagnostic criteria for fetishism:
- The patient experiences recurrent and intense sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies involving the use of nonliving objects by themselves.
- Symptoms must be present for at least 6 months.
- The patient experiences significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning because of the fantasies, urges, or behaviors.
The DSM-IV-TR list of other paraphilias includes:
Exhibitionism: the recurrent urge or behavior to expose one's genitals to an unsuspecting person.
Frotteurism: the recurrent urges or behavior of touching or rubbing against a non consenting person.
Masochism: the recurrent urge or behavior of wanting to be humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer.
Sadism: the recurrent urge or behavior involving acts in which the pain or humiliation of the victim is sexually exciting.
Voyeurism: the recurrent urge or behavior to observe an unsuspecting person who is naked, disrobing or engaging in sexual activities, or may not be sexual in nature at all.
Transvestite fetishism: a sexual attraction towards the clothing of the opposite gender.
Chronophilias such as Infantophilia: the sexual attraction to infants, Pedophilia: the sexual attraction to prepubescent children, Gerontophilia: the sexual attraction to the elderly.
Other paraphilias: includes rarer behaviors such as
- telephone scatalogia (obscene phone calls)
- necrophilia (corpses)
- partualism (exclusive focus on one part of the body)
- zoophilia (animals)
- coprophilia (feces)
- klismaphilia (enemas)
- urophilia (urine)